Sunday, January 25, 2009

whining: the slight interruption

I'm not particularly fond of weekends. I know it sounds crazy--college student, single, livin' it up, right? Well, the problem with weekends is that I am inevitably reminded of those things which I should do but that I do not do. That, and it often happens that all of my motivation disappears and I don't really get any work done or accomplish much, or see my friends for that matter. This weekend was one of those weekends. I don't generally like to be whiney in my posts, but it is authentically me at the moment, and there's no use pretending everything's okay.

I guess my issues aren't really that big on the surface. There are basically three: 1) I don't feel like calling my mom, but I haven't talked to her in a while and I know I should; 2) I don't feel like doing my homework; 3) I have roommate issues. Beneath the surface, however, these three issues are actually quite a lot more complicated. I don't really want to get into it, but if you use your imagination, I bet you'll figure something out.

The point is not that I'm sitting on my haunches--it's okay for a person to do that sometimes. The point is that I have an aversion to doing anything that might potentially be painful. Last semester was quite scarring for me (though I was rescued by the grace of God and my beautiful friends), and so now I spend a lot of time trying to avoid pain, which is ridiculous because pain will catch up with us whether we want it to or not. There is no escaping life. It's difficult, but anything worth having is worth working for and failing at every now in then. In fact, many people are aware that pain is a necessary part of growth and maturity, and without it I would remain an awkward child my whole life. So, essentially, I am avoiding the inevitable.

Really, when I sit down to think about it, all of those issues could and probably would eventually be resolved. It is simply the path that would take me there that I am trying to avoid...

Well, I don't think I really made a point in this post, but I have decided to call my mom, for what it's worth.

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