Friday, September 4, 2009

a surprise blessing (the best kind!)

Haha! I met with my dearest professor, Helen, yesterday to talk with her about the mess in my head (see previous post). Of course, she was as wonderful as I always expect her to be, and our conversation went something like this:

" I feel like it would really help me to go live in a women's commune for awhile until I get sick of all of the estrogen and go crazy. That would actually help a lot. Other than that, I'm not really sure what to do."
[Helen nods and mmm's in agreement]

"Anyway, I think I might go to my parents' this weekend to try to get away, but I also hate the suburbs so I'm not really sure how helpful that will be...grrr...*general grumbling*"
[Helen looks at me patiently, as always, and then suddenly perks up:]

Helen: "Well, I can offer this to could come to Plow Creek this weekend. Some women at Reba are going for the weekend to this Women's Circle and we're going to learn to butcher and pluck chickens and we'll meditate and just get away and be a bunch of anarchist women. It sounds like that might be helpful to you..."

Me: "Awww! Wow, Helen, that's great. Can you send me the information?"

And so, that is how I came to be frantically preparing for a weekend under the stars. I don't have a tent, nor do I want one, and I don't have a camp stove, but I think Helen might. I'll be spending the weekend living outside and climbing trees, cooking communal meals, and participating in discussion groups with topics such as "Sexuality and Health" and "Faith, Spirituality, and Anarchism". Oh, and there's dancing. So, it's basically perfect.

Anyway, I'm very grateful to my dear Helen for her invitation and her patience and love. She's a pretty great lady.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

life as I know it

Well, school is back in full swing and with it comes all of the ups and downs of homework, campus jobs, relationships, and lack of adequate sleep and nutrition. Also, the fact that my bike was stolen over a month ago has created its own set of problems.

Driving to the grocery store: $5

Taking CTA to dance class: $4.50 minimum

Walking back and forth from apartment to school: one or two meals per day

Biking everywhere: Priceless

I think that I've probably lost more weight in the past two weeks than I did all summer since I have been less mobile than usual. It means that not only do I have to walk everywhere, I also eat less because I'm too poor to eat out and I'm too much of a food snob to buy anything truly portable--everything that I want to eat needs to be either hot or refridgerated.

It's not all bad, though. Even though I'm annoyed with my lack of bike, I've gotten to know the knooks and krannies of my neighborhood and I've found tons of bottle caps for my latest crochet project. Even though I have many moments when I wish I hadn't come to North Park and that my whole life had been different, I am reminded in these moments of where I've been and can use the memories to see where I'd like to go. Even though I'm in love with a man and we're both a little too messed up to be together right now, the fact that we two decided together that we loved each other enough to let go gives me hope for our future. Even though I don't really want to be in 90% of my classes, I have great mentors who are willing to meet with me to advise and lend an ear to my whining.

There's a lot in my head right now, but it doesn't want to come out in sensible chunks (does it ever?) so I'll leave you with that. Just some food for thought.

Back to work.