God's goodness abounds

I would just like to take a moment to thank God for his greatness and might, and for all of the people that he has placed in my life to be my support and to show his love to me. I am so grateful that he continues to be the Lord of all, despite the mess in my life and in others' lives, in our economy, and in the Church. God's goodness remains, and for that we can always praise!

Peace

benediction of St. Francis of Assisi

I received this benediction in my email last week, and I thought I'd share it with you all as our week comes to an end...

Now, wherever we are,
and in every place,
and at every hour,
throughout each time of each day,
may all of us honestly and humbly believe,
holding in our hearts
to love, honor,
adore, serve,
praise, bless,
glorify, exalt,
magnify, and give thanks
to the Most High and Eternal God,
Trinity and Unity.
Amen.
- St. Francis of Assisi

I hope this blesses you as much as it has blessed me.

Peace

itsy bitsy update

Well, the last time I posted, I was feeling pretty busy and pressed by all of the tasks I had taken on. It's been awhile since then because I'm feeling pretty busy and pressed by all of the crap I have ingested in the past two weeks (and the fact that there is no room left in my head for all of it!).

Week One

I was tortured by sin and guilt that I had been carrying for six years and had successfully trapped inside of me to the point that I actually believed that my life needed to be like that. Then, a little over a week ago, I confessed my sin to a living, breathing human being, and suddenly I was feeling much better. Obviously, I have a lot of work to do and there is tons of healing to be had there, but I do have a sense of freedom from that particular bondage. I need to work on getting through that bondage before I can work on the other things in my life that need working on, so I am.

Week Two

I had been released from my sin and guilt through confession and was feeling much better. Then I started sharing my story with other people and suddenly they were sharing their stories with me! My head filled instantly with thoughts of how I was going to keep in touch with all of these people and remember to pray for them and to ask them how things are going. I was full. Completely. No room left in my head.

Three days ago (Friday), I had been having a long, rough week. I met with our campus pastor in the morning and that was great because she's helping me with my sin/guilt issue (cleverly christened "Bob" by one of my more intelligent comrades) and we talked a little about how people were sharing with me. The day was really long after that, though, and I was SO grateful at the end of my lesson that the day was finally over. I was going to go home, thaw some chicken, make dinner for me and Jaron, and meet with him to discuss the small group we're putting together.

Melissa had left a somewhat frantic message on my cell phone saying, "Hey, umm...call me when you get this," and I thought, "Is she running to the store and wants to know what I want? I wonder what the hurry is..." When I got home, she ran in and gave me some rather horrible news of the extreme family emergency type (I can say no more) which caused the care of our roommate to be my top priority. For example, I felt personally responsible for making sure that everyone ate at least something at every mealtime and I rejoiced in every shower that she took this weekend. Obviously, her pain is immeasurably more than anything I've ever experienced. I must say, though, that this definitely goes down in history as the most difficult weekend of my life. My head was already full of all sorts of junk and mess, and then this entirely unexpected and unbelievably shocking occurence whacked us all in the face. Thankfully, we have a few people who know the situation with whom we can process things. Also, Jaron was a rockstar AGAIN.

Friday night, it felt as if time was standing still...and I only wish it had. All I want right now is for a single moment out of time. I wish that for the worldly equivalent of five minutes God would transport me to a place where I didn't have to feel or think or worry or remember to be a functional human being, and where I could just sit in his embrace. And possibly cry and laugh, but mostly just sit. And then he could return me to the world and to the shackles of time and space and the nitty gritty bits of life, and I would be refreshed. I must above all remember to continue to place my trust in God and to remember the hope that we have in Christ Jesus, and that all things work together for good.

If you are reading this, please pray for us--for all of us who are struggling with personal issues, with friendships, relationships, grief, depression, anxiety, overload, stress, and loneliness. These issues are not all mine (praise be to God!), but they are mine and those that I am bearing with my friends. Pray especially for my roommates and especially still for our roommate who is bearing the heaviest load of all and for her safe travels.

Praise the Lord God whose mercy endures forever!

Peace

anyone need a nanny?

Or a seamstress? Dog groomer? Lawn-mower (the human behind the machine)? Writer? Advertisement coordinator? Anything that can be done in six weeks?

'Cause I need a job, folks. Mine is practically gone. It's hanging by a teeny tiny microscopic spider-web thread, and likely to fall away in a matter of hours. Which makes me a college student in debt from loans, looking to go to Israel (next summer, hopefully), needing to pay for books and groceries and necessities and gas, with no job. For six weeks. Unless someone in this town is crazy enough to hire me for that short a time...

Please pray for me. If I don't get a job, I'll definitely be volunteering somewhere to help the community (and kill time, I'm not gonna lie), and yearning for August 10th. If I don't get a job, I'll try to go up to the city sooner than that and live with a friend off campus in an effort to preserve my sanity. So yeah, being unemployed...not cool. Prayers please!

Thanks.

Peace

hermitage: exhibit A

Yeah, you can tell I've begun the end-of-semester hermitage--the last post was last Sunday. This week has been so exhausting and I know I only would have made it with God's help. Pray for me that I would not be anxious and that I would trust Him with EVERYTHING. Amen.

Peace

new leaf

Haha--I've been saying that all day and I've only just realized how appropriate it is that I should declare my new leaf on one of the first true days of spring.

For those of you unfamiliar with this phrase, and there are many from what I observed today, "turning over a new leaf" means that one has decided to do something differently in their life. To turn over a new leaf is to move from something that is not working to something that is. It's rather significant and should have a more dignified cliche attached, but I suppose there are worse cliches...

Anyway, the new leaf is this: From this day forward, with God's help, I shall be open with those whom I consider to be friends and not bury my negative emotions until they overwhelm me. I commit to being at all times as genuine as I can be, and to work to improve my capacity for intimate friendships. Please pray for me and hold me accountable--I'll need all of the help I can get!

Thanks y'all.

Peace

a spring break blessing

While I'm thinking about it, since I likely will not have time this evening, I want to wish everyone a happy and safe spring break. Especially to all those who are travelling, may God grant you safety on your journey and rest in your destination. I pray that we all enjoy a change of pace and a moment to step back and take a nice deep breath!

Peace